Have I used that title before? Idk. (Omg my sister was talking to me and I was half-listening and she said something like “…and I took flamingo dancing” and I was like “what. You mean flamenco” omg sorry I needed to tell someone) Anyway tonight’s been a musical evening. I got on YouTube and on my recommended was a video with “Les Miserables” and “One Man Medley” and so obviously I clicked on it and it was wonderful. (One Man Les Miserables Nick Pitera Medley. If you were planning on checking it out. You should. Go do it. Now. Here I’ll give you a link. ). From there I found his Phantom of the Opera thing. Lemme tell you, Nick Pitera has an IMPRESSIVE vocal range. Like wow. He pulled off Cosette AND Javert. AND Christine Daae! Like hold up there man. Too much.
Well that put me in a musical mood so I ended up listening to some Wicked and a bunch of Les Mis which led to sad songs obviously (and Panic! At the Disco’s version of This is Halloween but everything leads there. Panic is amazing.)
But I wanted a particular sad song. And I thought “Oh maybe I shared it on Facebook!” So I went back to the beginning and scrolled through it all. I didn’t find it there, but as I scrolled, I noticed how happy and promising I seemed, all excited about good grades and doctor who and Harry Potter and just all around innocent. By happy, I mean open and talking to people and enjoying myself and unafraid of other people’s opinions of me. The happy posts stopped around this past Christmas. My problem is I don’t know why. Why did I go from that little nerd who was all excited about learning and could ACTUALLY TALK TO PEOPLE into this antisocial, irritating, irritated loser who can’t talk about school without crying and obsesses over famous men in their 30s? (Note: I’m not hating myself, loser is being used somewhat affectionately. As much as possible in this situation.)
Wow this was supposed to be a happy post for once. Oops. Anyway, yeah my hunch is school + my really screwed up mind + internet = me losing my social skills. I MESSED UP TALKING TO SOMEONE TODAY. I DONT LEAVE THE HOUSE EXCEPT FOR CHURCH. YOU’D THINK I COULD DO IT BECAUSE IM SORTA COOL WITH THEM BUT NOOOOO. THERE I GO, DESTROYING HOW I VIEW MYSELF (because we all know I just overdramatize things and other people don’t care when I screw up whilst conversing. I just feel like imploding when it happens to me.)
Okay still haven’t fixed it. Um Dan Howell made a new video, that’s good. It has potato metaphors and whatnot. Check it out. It’ll improve your mood after reading all this.
~Coolio out


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