Have I used that title before? Idk. (Omg my sister was talking to me and I was half-listening and she said something like “…and I took flamingo dancing” and I was like “what. You mean flamenco” omg sorry I needed to tell someone) Anyway tonight’s been a musical evening. I got on YouTube and on my recommended was a video with “Les Miserables” and “One Man Medley” and so obviously I clicked on it and it was wonderful. (One Man Les Miserables Nick Pitera Medley. If you were planning on checking it out. You should. Go do it. Now. Here I’ll give you a link. ). From there I found his Phantom of the Opera thing. Lemme tell you, Nick Pitera has an IMPRESSIVE vocal range. Like wow. He pulled off Cosette AND Javert. AND Christine Daae! Like hold up there man. Too much.
Well that put me in a musical mood so I ended up listening to some Wicked and a bunch of Les Mis which led to sad songs obviously (and Panic! At the Disco’s version of This is Halloween but everything leads there. Panic is amazing.)
But I wanted a particular sad song. And I thought “Oh maybe I shared it on Facebook!” So I went back to the beginning and scrolled through it all. I didn’t find it there, but as I scrolled, I noticed how happy and promising I seemed, all excited about good grades and doctor who and Harry Potter and just all around innocent. By happy, I mean open and talking to people and enjoying myself and unafraid of other people’s opinions of me. The happy posts stopped around this past Christmas. My problem is I don’t know why. Why did I go from that little nerd who was all excited about learning and could ACTUALLY TALK TO PEOPLE into this antisocial, irritating, irritated loser who can’t talk about school without crying and obsesses over famous men in their 30s? (Note: I’m not hating myself, loser is being used somewhat affectionately. As much as possible in this situation.)
Wow this was supposed to be a happy post for once. Oops. Anyway, yeah my hunch is school + my really screwed up mind + internet = me losing my social skills. I MESSED UP TALKING TO SOMEONE TODAY. I DONT LEAVE THE HOUSE EXCEPT FOR CHURCH. YOU’D THINK I COULD DO IT BECAUSE IM SORTA COOL WITH THEM BUT NOOOOO. THERE I GO, DESTROYING HOW I VIEW MYSELF (because we all know I just overdramatize things and other people don’t care when I screw up whilst conversing. I just feel like imploding when it happens to me.)
Okay still haven’t fixed it. Um Dan Howell made a new video, that’s good. It has potato metaphors and whatnot. Check it out. It’ll improve your mood after reading all this.
~Coolio out


Fast Food, yum

Okay, so I’m currently fighting my way through my summer reading (but you’re only like two pages in???) AND IM ALREADY FIGHTING UGH
Anyway, I’ve decided that, since this book is meant to put us off fast food (or, at least, that’s what I think) I want to find a way to eat some fast food in my English class at the beginning of the school year, just to make everyone else feel sick. (Wow you’re horrible) I know.
(But won’t you hate fast food too?) Hahaha! No. I eat domino’s every Friday, Taco Bell every Sunday (although, that one’s kinda not my choice), Sonic any time we go shopping (don’t tell my sisters, they don’t know about the ice cream), and Burger King all the time. What I wouldn’t give for a breakfast burrito from sonic right now. I am determined to defy this book. I will keep my unhealthy habits because they’re cheap-ish and simple (and if I’m going to college I better get used to ramen and McDonalds all the time). Besides, I eat nice homemade meals all the time. I can afford to eat unhealthy crap from fast food places. Maybe not all the time, but sometimes. And eventually, I’ll stop eating the stuff for a long enough time that they’ll make me sick when I try again. (That happened to me with soda. It was scary. I’m used to soda again, so we’re good.)

I’m gonna look back at this in a while and be horrified at my eating habits, I know.

Anyway, back to struggling through Fast Food Nation. Nonfiction required readings are gonna be the death of me. But don’t worry. I have a cat to pet when the reading gets too stressful and make me cry again.
Seriously though, do either FFN or the Jungle get any easier while reading? Because if not, I’m screwed.
~Coolio out

Why Do We Focus So Much On School

Don’t get me wrong, learning is great! I love learning new things. If you can explain (very simply, might I add. I’m not a genius) anything interesting, or make something uninteresting sound exactly the opposite, I am all for it. My problem is with school.
School focuses not so much on learning as it does grades. Passing. Getting it done. And it starts to give students that mindset as well.
I hate school with a passion. The people are irritating, the curriculum always moves too fast or too slow (more often the former), and teachers don’t care. They just want you to pass your tests and get out of their class. (I’m not saying that’s all teachers, I’m saying it’s a lot.) This has a very negative effect on some students. I know it does for me. See, the amount I care for school is usually at zero. Homework? I don’t care, I’ll do it later, turn it in late, not do it at all. But sometimes, the weight that everyone puts on the average student comes crashing down on me and I start to panic. (I’m never gonna do anything with my life, I’m a failure, things like that.) There’s always a little part of my brain that says “No! Stop, don’t do this to yourself! You’re great, you’ll do fine, you don’t need to worry, calm down,” but I usually end up crying a lot and hating everything. (I know, it sucks.)
I cry a lot. Sometimes about fandoms, but that’s a given. And even then it’s not a lot. But anytime someone mentions school, or tries to talk about my future, or anything of that sort, I end up in the previous mindset and start crying. (Naturally, I find my way to a different room. I’ve hidden in the bathroom to cry before. It’s not fun.)
Something is obviously VERY wrong when the very mention of school sends me into such a state. Yes, it may be partially my screwed up brain, but a majority of the blame rests upon the school system. (Finally reached the point I was trying to make!)
Also, it seems to be common for parents to force their kids into choosing a college (At least, that’s what my parents are trying. I leave and cry in another room before they get very far.) Honestly, I’m not sure where I want my life to go, and everyone seems to be pressuring me to make a decision. (For Pete’s sake, my little sister is in middle school and she knows she wants to do culinary school. Why couldn’t that have been me?) I don’t have any talents (or none that I’m aware of, at least) and no specific interests (besides the obvious fandoms.) At the moment, I’ve said “Yeah, sure, I’ll be a librarian or something” but that’s not really that appealing either. Nothing is.
Whoa we went waaaay off track there. My point is, at what point did loving school and being able to learn turn into me crying at the very word?
(Woooow too deep man. Sorry I shoved all that on you guys. I got really upset earlier and it made me think a little.)
~Coolio out

National Ice Cream Day

According to my mother, it’s today.
So celebrate, dear people! Celebrate to your heart’s content!

Also, if you’re wondering about Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, if you value having a social life, don’t. Touch. It. You won’t have a social life to value after KK:H. Trust me. I don’t even like Kim and I’m obsessed with the game.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
~Coolio out


Okay that’s in caps for a reason. I like musicals. A lot. So imagine my excitement when I found out thAT SUPERNATURAL IS GETTING A MUSICAL EPISODE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT. MUSICAL. SUPERNATURAL. EPISODE.
My sources say it will be the 200th episode, and it will be called Fan Fiction.


I’m gonna go squeal about that and probably end up crying.
~Coolio out

Hummingbirds are NOT giant bees.

Hello friends. I have a story to tell so listen up.

I was sitting on our porch swing, trying to enjoy the light rain (I love rain so much) and I was getting all comfortable and stuff. Right when I settled down, I heard this really loud buzzing close to my head and instinct took over. Immediately, I jumped up, swatted at the air, and got as far away from the swing as possible. Somehow, I managed to keep my book in my arm, so I stared at the swing for a second and went inside to compose myself.
I calmed down sufficiently, so I went back outside, but I didn’t sit down. I stood across from the swing, staring at it, listening for the slightest sound of buzzing, and after about five minutes, I decided it was safe. So I sat down and looked up at the hummingbird feeder hanging next to the swing and I thought of something.
I went to tell my mom the story, and then I asked “What do hummingbirds sound like?” And she proceeded to make a buzzing noise… the same buzzing that had scared me half to death the first time.
Now knowing it was a hummingbird, not a giant murderous bee demon (or something along those lines…), I sat back down on the porch swing. I read a little, stared at the rain, finally calm, when a hummingbird flew near me. Again, I heard the buzzing and my mind instantly flashed GIANT BEE. FLAIL AND RUN AWAY OR IT’LL KILL YOU. Instinct took hold of my arms and I flailed like an idiot, before I remembered: hummingbirds. (Cue Bobby Singer voice. “Idjit.”)
But by that point, the hummingbird was gone, so, alas, no pictures.
The end.

ALSO I went to the library today and got The Princess Bride and the second book in the Delirium trilogy, Pandemonium. I’m still trying to finish Seraphina, so I’ll get to those two later. I had almost forgotten how great it felt to walk out of the library with more adventures in hand. As I was walking to the car, I opened both and smelled them, and the lady walking next to me stared. (She’s just jealous because I had books to smell and she didn’t.)

~Coolio out

Braces *shudder*

So, I’ve had braces for about… four months? Maybe? Idk probably. Anyway, I got them tightened yesterday. They don’t feel too bad. What’s really bugging me is my appliance. It’s supposed to stretch out my jaw or something. Anyway, they adjusted that too and now my teeth hurt. It’s been making me want to bite down all day, but that makes them hurt more. I was thinking about it and I realized: it’s like I’m teething. Yep. I’ve been demoted to infant status. Does that mean I can have people hand feed me? Can I choose who? And what? Because we all know I’d choose Misha Collins, just to hang out with him. (Although having to feed me might kill the mood…) Also cheesecake. Always cheesecake. I could eat cheesecake nonstop if I had the resources.

Also I was talking to my mother about Sam, Dean, and Cas, and she said “why are you telling me about your crushes?” And I’m like ‘pssshssshhh no of course not’ (and on the inside I was like yeah no really I just want to hug them and watch TV and eat food with them. The fact that they’re attractive is a bonus.) But then she said “What if Dean pulled up in his fancy black car and offered to take you on a hunt? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do it.” And I said “No of course not I’d be dead within the episode.” And she laughed and ate her ice cream, but that made me think: what if it did happen? What if I could drop everything and go be a hunter with Sam and Dean and Cas and not die like every other character? Would I do it? My answer: Heck yeah. Of course. I’d be so hardcore, crying at everything and missing every shot I’d take and getting kidnapped by demons. Not actually, I’d train first. Then I’d be hardcore. (Probably still cry a lot but oh well.) So if one of the boys ever does offer, I’m leaving and the chances of me updating are slim. So if I’m ever not updating for a while, assume that’s the reason, okay?
~Coolio out


Idk that sounds like it’d be the title of a really inspirational poem or something. But its actually the title of Owl City’s new EP.


I’m composed. Mostly. So, as you may have guessed, Adam Young (aka Owl City aka Sky Sailing aka Port Blue aka the most amazing human being in existence) has a new EP and I’m so excited!!!

Adam is one of the few people who will always cheer me up and make me smile when I’m sad. Idk why, he just has that effect on me.

Anyway, the fact that he has a new EP is great because that means more soooongs. I’m currently playing Up All Night on repeat, and before that it was Wolf Bite. I am in love with all of his songs (except for a couple of the movie ones and Good Time, but that’s because I don’t like Carly Rae Jepsen). I highly recommend you listen to him.

I’ll give you some of my favorites if you want suggestions. Bird and the Worm is my all time fav. After that it’s Dental Care, If My Heart Was a House, Cave In, Technicolor Room, and Butterfly Wings. There are a bunch more but then I’d just be naming all his songs and we’d be here all day. So go look him up and fall in love with him. Also his twitter is hilarious. And he loves food. So we’re basically the same person except he’s more talented, funnier, and has a twitter.

I’ll leave you with that. I hope you like him!
~Coolio out

Calming Things

Hello darlings. I was feeling kinda sad earlier, so I put on some Port Blue. Yes, it might have intensified the sadness, but it also kinda made me feel better, y’know? I don’t know, I’m weird. I seem to like being kinda sad, I guess. But then, I decided to put on some Rainymood, because, what’s a sad instrumental song without some rain in the background? After that, my ears were satisfied, what with all the sad, calm music and rain and stuff. However, I had nothing to do with my hands, or my eyes, and I wasn’t ready to go to sleep. (I mean, come on, I had my laptop playing music, my phone playing rainymood, I wasn’t about to leave them on and drain their batteries. Also, I could have rolled over and crushed one in my sleep, and I don’t know where I’d be if that happened.) So, I decided to turn to my old friend, tumblr. Yes, I remember tumblr. I stalk some of my friends sometimes, just to see how they’re doing. (Sometimes they rant on their blogs, and I like feeling like I’m there listening to them and understanding them. I will always always always be there when someone wants to open up and talk, but I usually don’t have any good words of advice or comfort, so I kinda just do this to keep a nice balance.) Anyway, some people on tumblr do masterposts of stuff. (I don’t know who came up with the idea, but they’re an absolute genius. Thank you, mystery person!) I decided to search calming masterposts, and the first one I found was (if that doesn’t link, just copy and paste into the url bar). It’s an excellent masterpost, seeing as apparently, someone on 4chan thought it’d be a good idea to screw around with posts and replace links with triggers. (People like that need to not exist. I’m holding my tongue here, trying to keep it PG-rated, but come on. You wouldn’t blame me if I started freaking out. That’s a really stupid move.) Anyways, this person made sure nobody would be able to replace the links, God bless them, and now there’s an especially safe, calming masterpost in existence.

I decided to check some of the links because I worry about you little ducks and wanted to be sure, and they are safe. I couldn’t check some for various reasons. (i didn’t want to crowd the hotlines, download any apps, or anything like that. also some of the game websites wouldn’t work, so there’s that.)

My personal favorites are the Nature Sounds for Me, Stress Analyst, Player 2 (this one especially), The Thoughts Room (also the little links at the bottom, like the quiet room and the dawn room, are amazing, you should check them out), The Nicest Place on the Internet (I absolutely loooove this one. It makes me feel happy and fuzzy and loved, and there’s nothing else I’d rather feel. Definitely check this out if you’re sad. Don’t worry, they’re just videos, no one can see you unless you give a hug yourself.), Silk, Neonflames (those two are kinda the same), Musical Squares (this one is extremely fun, and it makes me feel good because everything i make sounds beautiful), Soy tu Aire (This wasn’t as fun as the musical squares, but it was still fun), Neopets (but probably because i’ve had a neopets account for a while…), and Cookie clicker (fair warning, this one is addicting). Wow, that’s quite a few.

Anyway, there’s your masterpost link. And my personal suggestions, at least for calming down. And i shouldn’t be awake as it is two in the morning, so I will now attempt sleep. Love you guys, stay safe. ❤

~Coolio out